Stop reacting. Start responding.
The big picture from the Symmetry newsletter - LV’s Midweek Memo:
So What?
We don’t practice breathwork to get better at breathwork: We practice so that we can create awareness of our knee-jerk reactions.
Without awareness, there can’t be change: Once you are aware, you can practice making conscious decisions regarding how you want to respond.
Get your reps in: Change takes time, practice, patience.
Keep reading to dig deeper! (A ~1 ½ minute read.)
By now you’ve learned more about the Sympathetic Nervous System and Parasympathetic Nervous System.
Armed with a better understanding of how these work, and how they work together, you can use the breath as a tool to work with your nervous system to create the awareness (the “space”) to move towards choosing your response.
But guess what! This doesn’t happen overnight! Change is not immediate. Sometimes you’ll have immediate “ah-ha” moments, but often it takes time. Often a lot of time. And patience. And grace.
Note (and shameless plug): This is one of the reasons why it’s great to have a coach - someone to keep you accountable, on track, give you tough love when you need it and encouragement along the way.
Real talk - here’s a story of how I put this into practice:
I have a toddler who turned two a few months ago. He is awesome. He is absolutely non-stop. I love him the most and he is exhausting all at the same time.
Last month he was playing in our sprinkler and I heard him start cheerfully chirping to himself as he played in the water… “oh d@mn it!”
It was me. It couldn’t have been anyone else. And I knew why.
When he, at the end of the day, for example… throws food on the floor for the 50th time, I’m exhausted from running after him, also working, and trying to take care of myself in the process, not to mention also our house and animals… I don’t always have the best reaction.
In fact that’s often it - a reaction, not a response.
So last week (after working on this for nearly two and a half YEARS) when he threw food on the floor and my stress response (sympathetic NS anyone?!) started to kick into gear…
I felt it.
I took a deep breath in through my nose… and slower out through pursed lips.
I slowed down.
I didn’t yell any choice words for him to later repeat. In fact I didn’t yell at all.
I was able to calmly respond in a loving, patient way and in the same moment show him that there is another option other than frustration (and let’s be honest…) rage. 😂
It may sound like a small win, or silly to some, downright ridiculous to others, and totally relatable to someone else… but I was proud of myself in that moment. It’s nice when you see the work paying off.
But here’s the thing: we ALL have things like this that we struggle with - whether it’s snapping at a loved one, road rage, frustration at work that seeps out at home, a short temper with a coworker, negative self-talk… the list goes on!
These reactions can be deeply engrained.
And we ALL have the power to choose a different response. A different way of being in and interacting with the world.
Change takes:
Awareness
Time
Practice
Perseverance
Will you take the first step towards the life you want to live? We at Symmetry are here to help!
